my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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