I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
