look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
