Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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