I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
