So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
