i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
