mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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