I think scott just propositioned me for sex
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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