you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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