I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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