Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
