2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
