CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
