it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
