Whod you bang
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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