i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
