The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
