I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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