I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Less talking, more tequila
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
