Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
