making cat noises will not fix the situation.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
