that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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