Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
