i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
