Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
