They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
