it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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