Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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