That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
soo... how was my night?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
