he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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