It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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