before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
