I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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