everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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