What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
