oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
