he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
