Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
