why didn't you poke me back
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
