I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
