my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
