you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
