I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
