the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
