Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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