beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
