my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
