YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
