O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
